It may be hard to believe (but then who are we to question your belief system? You can believe anything up to and including the fact that cabbage leaves are rose petals before they get plastic surgery or that men and women are fundamentally different only because women never grow hair in their ears. No one is going to make fun of your beliefs on this website. Ever. It’s our policy to embrace everything and everybody and only hate those snooty rose petals that can afford plastic surgery — the snobs! We should build a wall . . . )


Whew . . . how did that rant get in here? Anyway. It may be hard to believe, but the year 2018 is already half over. And the big question for marketers remains “What are the most effective B2B marketing techniques this year?”

The answer may surprise you. Or not. You’re certainly free to remain unsurprised . . . oh bother, there we go again! Just read the stuff below and pretend to be interested:


Don’t forget the mustard


And by that, of course, we mean ketchup. And everyone knows that ketchup is a marketing term for podcasting. If you don’t know that you can’t possibly be a marketer and should get the heck off of this post right now. We don’t need your stinkin’ clicks, amigo!


Keep your customers loyal


When your potential customer is another business, it’s smart to remember that they view customer loyalty somewhat different from the individual consumer. Just how they view it differently we couldn’t say — but take it from us that they do. So you’d better find out about it, pronto — and then get back to us and let us know what the difference is . . . there’s a coupon for free miniature golf in it if you do and then keep your mouth shut.


Never wave at a WAC


This is actually the title of a 1953 black and white movie comedy starring Rosalind Russell which is pretty cute, maybe even a chick flick. We highly recommend it. Since 2018 is practically over anyways, who cares about B2B marketing for the rest of the year? We’ll bring over the popcorn.