What are the latest marketing trends? If you work in marketing and/or advertising, and don’t care about the answer to this question you are either Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius, or dumber than a box of Kardashians. Marketing techniques in 2018 are more complex and more effective than ever. So let’s review seven of them right now (and don’t tell me you’ve got something better to do with your time — how many hours a day do you really need to spend playing Far Cry 5 anyway?)

 

Varketing

 

This is video marketing, and it is so 2018 that it’s gone way beyond copacetic — and has entered the realm of transcendence. If you’re not video marketing, you might as well hang it up and go live on a commune in Oregon.

 

Those chatty bots

 

Artificial intelligence has all the answers, when it comes to customer service, and never takes a potty break. So unleash an army of chatbots on your unsuspecting customers to become the next General Skarr of the marketing world. (So I like Cartoon Network, so sue me!)

 

Tell a story

 

For real sales success always be prepared to tell your potential customers a fantastic story. Look what it’s done for Trump!

 

Kale

 

I don’t really know what this has to do with marketing, but it’s an inexpensive green leafy vegetable that’s good for you. See you local grocer for more information.

 

Growth hack is your friend

 

And no, it’s not a fungus infection like ringworm. It’s got something to do with lots of different stuff — so just use the term all the time to impress your boss, who is dumber than two boxes of Kardashians anyways.

 

User sourced content

Quote your customers extensively to bring authority and believability to your content. And if your customers won’t say anything then quote some ancient Roman for a classy look. After all, “barba tenus sapientes.”